Gayle King Went Space Glamping With Fellow Rich People, Wants Her Nobel Prize Now
Katy Perry held up a dandelion in space.
Last week, some very wealthy women made a 10-minute trip into space on Blue Origin’s New Shepard rocket. Blue Origin is billionaire Jeff Bezos’s private spaceflight startup that offers tricked-out Disney rides to the rich and well-connected. Billed as the “first all-woman spaceflight” in more than 60 years, the passengers included pop star Katy Perry, journalist Gayle King, film producer Kerianne Flynn, Lauren Sánchez — the TV journalist, aviation businesswoman, philanthropist, and children’s book author who’s engaged to Bezos, bioastronautics researcher Amanda Nguyen, and aerospace engineer Aisha Bowe. If the trip went horribly wrong and they got stranded on a deserted island, Bowe and Nguyen would probably serve as the “Professor” of the group and keep the millionaires alive.
During the flight, the group spent about four minutes in microgravity, which they all seemed to enjoy because it was only four minutes. Perry, at one point, held up a daisy to a camera, which CNN describes as “an homage to the flower for which she named her daughter. Perry also said she admires daisies because some people consider them to be weeds — growing through cracks and crevices where other plants cannot.”
Daisies are weeds, which decrease plant diversity and reduce crop yields. Admiring something for its apparent strength despite the damage it causes reveals a lot about current American culture.
CNN adds, “Later in the footage, Perry held up a butterfly with a track list for her upcoming tour on it.” Keep hustling!
There was considerable backlash for the Blue Origin spaceflight, considering it took place while the U.S. economy is in free fall and democracy crumbles. This trip only reinforces how the wealthy are literally able to “rise above it all,” like the noxious weeds Katy Perry admires so.
Gayle King is apparently shocked and disappointed that the po’ folks didn’t greet her color-coordinated space divas as liberators. “Have you been [to space]?” she snapped at critics. True, most people haven’t taken weekday trips to space because they have real jobs. King has a fear of flying, but it probably helps that the New Shepard looks more spacious and comfortable than my last domestic flight.
King is quite annoyed that we mere mortals don’t realize she’s somehow in the same league now as actual American hero Alan Shepard.
“We duplicated the same trajectory that Alan Shepard did back in the day, pretty much. No one called that a ‘ride,’” King said. “It was called a flight, it was called a journey.”
King’s deluded comparison here is like suggesting that my move from New York to the Pacific Northwest was in any way like the Oregon Trail. I was never at risk of dying from cholera.
In 1961, Alan Shepard became the first American to travel into space. His suit didn’t have any provision for eliminating bodily wastes, and after he was strapped into the capsule’s seat, launch delays kept him in the suit for more than four hours. When he couldn’t hold out any longer, ground control instructed him to “do it in the suit,” which he did — short-circuiting the electronic sensors designed to monitor his heart and respiration. His urine pooled into the small of his back before it was all absorbed into his undergarment. There’s no way Bezos’s space tourists would ever sign themselves up for that level of discomfort.
Shepard never fully relaxed on his flight until after splashdown and recovery in the Atlantic Ocean. “It’s not the fall that hurts,” he said. “It’s the sudden stop.” President John F. Kennedy had worried about televising Shepard’s launch because there was a not-insignificant chance that he could die.
“There was nothing frivolous about what we did,” King insisted. I don’t know. It looked like they were attending a space-themed bachelorette party, but no one peed on themselves.
“I’m very disappointed and very saddened by [the backlash],” King whined. “And I also say this, what it’s doing to inspire other women and young girls, please don’t ignore that.”
Sure, you can’t ignore that life is awesome for the wealthy and privileged. That’s hardly news or even all that inspirational. However, girls who are serious about space travel already have ample inspiration from women astronauts. King could’ve just interviewed them and stayed on the ground.
Suni Williams, for example, has made nine spacewalks totaling 62 hours and six minutes, the most for a woman and ranking fourth overall. Williams returned to Earth in March after technical problems turned a planned eight-day mission into nine months.
It’s especially insulting to compare Blue Origin’s space tourism to Russian cosmonaut Valentina Tereshkova’s 1963 journey into space. Tereshkova wasn’t chauffeured in a corporate-branded luxury vehicle and escorted like a VIP into her craft. She took a bus, and she peed on the bus tire instead of herself. Then 26, she remains the youngest woman to fly in Earth orbit. She logged more flight time than all previous American astronauts combined. Tereshkova orbited the earth 48 times and spent 2 days, 22 hours, and 50 minutes in space. It wasn’t Blue Origin’s space glamping, either. She endured nausea and physical discomfort for most of the flight, but her mission provided critical data about the effects of space travel on humans and women in particular. She’s still alive, but as a member of the Federal Assembly of Russia, she supported Putin’s invasion of Ukraine. So, that’s complicated.
Space travel is never just for kicks. Sure, astronauts repairing satellites enjoy some amazing views but that’s a perk, not the sole reason for the trip. Astronauts conduct experiments and gather information while in space flight or when living on the International Space Station. Their experiments and work on the spacecraft itself lead to innovations in design and engineering.
Even Alan Shepard pissing on himself inspired technological solutions for future space travels. The next year, John Glenn wore a special urine-collection device when he became the first American to orbit the Earth. Spacesuit engineer James McBarron led the team that designed the device, which was based on a condom design and fitted with a collection bag at the end. McBarron apparently tested several condom brands before settling on the one best suited for the job.
Katy Perry held up a daisy in space.
In fairness, Amanda Nguyen did conduct some experiments on the flight, including testing material for wound dressing in microgravity. That’s more in line with what real astronauts do, because space travel is serious business. Astronauts work an average of 16 hours a day and are on call 24/7. There’s limited privacy, and commonplace activities such as eating, sleeping, and cleaning yourself are far more complex. Using the bathroom requires almost gymnastic-level training. If Gayle King can poop in the space toilet with the delicate aim necessary to avoid a biohazard, she can think about comparing herself to Alan Shepard and Valentina Tereshkova
There's something heartening about the global derision of this stunt. And I am astounded that ANYone thought the response would be anything different.
"Why the fuck aren't we taxing the shit out of Jeff Bezos so NASA can build spaceships and send real astronauts to space instead of wasting millions on vanity flights for rich assholes? I mean, fuck, with his couch cushion money we could probably end hunger in America too," is probably one of those questions/statements that would get me fired if I were a journalist.