Here's Nikki Haley, Standing By For Further Humiliation
Girl, bye.
Nikki Haley dropped out of the Republican presidential primary in March. She shamelessly endorsed Donald Trump in May, but she hasn’t spoken to him since June. He apparently didn’t bother to give her a “what’s up!” when she addressed the Republican National Convention in July.
Haley has made it clear that she’d eagerly debase herself like Marco Rubio and campaign for him, but he’s been unmoved — though probably amused — by her begging, even though he’s now running against Kamala Harris and is losing women in most polls by double digits.
Nonetheless, Haley said earlier this week that she remains on “standby” to sell her soul completely. Her “Buy It Now” price on eBay is the lowest yet. Of course, as Jerry Seinfeld explained, “Standby … never works. That’s why they call it standby. You end up standing there going, ‘Bye!’”
During an embarrassing appearance on Fox News (but aren’t they all?), Haley offered some unsolicited feedback to the Trump campaign, which would rather offer rally speaking slots to his Lionel Hutz lawyer Alina Habba. (Watch below.)
“They also need to look at how they are talking about women,” Haley said. “This bromance and this masculinity stuff, it borders on edgy to the point that it’s going to make women uncomfortable.” (“Uncomfortable” is a rather banal way to describe “filled with seething rage.”)
She went on, listing some tracks from The Creepy Incels’ Greatest Hits, “You have got affiliated PACs that are doing commercials about calling Kamala the ‘C word,’ or you had speakers at Madison Square Garden, you know, referring to her and her ‘pimps.’ That is not the way to win women.”
No, it’s how you get a restraining order. Look, I’ve seen struggling plays turn around for the better with some solid notes a few days before opening night but this isn’t theatre. It’s an openly misogynistic and racist presidential campaign, and you’re stuck with a lead who keeps telling people at rallies that he’s not literally Hitler (his name is spelled differently and he doesn’t even have a mustache).
Out Of Style
Fox News anchor Bret Baier asked Nikki Haley, “You have no doubts that [Donald Trump] is not a threat to democracy, is not dangerous, is not unhinged?” Notably, Haley didn’t say, “I’m reasonably certain that Trump isn’t an unhinged wannabe despot.” Instead, she responded, “You don’t have to agree with his style. I am choosing policy over personality.”
Trump’s “style” is fascism. She’s modeling the mainstream GOP’s 2016 defense for supporting Trump but that outfit is horribly dated, especially after January 6. Haley is also confusing “personality” with “character,” of which Trump has none. A theme in fiction from Pride and Prejudice to Buffy the Vampire Slayer is that someone with an off-putting personality (Mr. Darcy, Cordelia Chase) might actually possess an admirable character. Trump isn’t even Mr. Wickham, whose superficially pleasant personality masks a corrupt character. He’s an openly cruel and hateful person. It’s his brand! He spent most of the GOP primary calling Haley “birdbrain,” which I guess is just his “style” like slathering bronzer on his face and housing a Tribble on his head.
Haley pushed her “policy over personality” excuse last week in a self-serving video she posted on social media. She wrote, “As a voter, I have to make a decision this November. When I look at the big issues — jobs, safety, immigration, national security, and my kid’s future — I know it’s not about personalities or style. It’s about substance. That’s why I’m voting for the principles that will secure our future.”
There is no true substance to Trump’s policies. Haley told Baier that she doesn’t agree with Trump 100 percent of the time but she doesn’t agree with Kamala Harris on anything. That’s a fundamentally untrue statement. The former UN ambassador’s foreign policy views are much closer to Harris than they are to the Putin stooge she’s supporting.
During the Republican primary, Haley said about Trump, “Anybody that can’t call out a dictator, that’s a problem. . . . [Putin’s] emboldened by Trump because Trump is not willing to stand up for our allies.”
“Our world is on fire because of America’s retreat,” Haley said during her withdrawal speech. “Standing by our allies in Ukraine, Israel and Taiwan is a moral imperative. But it’s also more than that. If we retreat further, there will be more war, not less.” Ukraine and Taiwan are both rightly concerned that Trump will betray them if he’s re-elected. Trump is affirmatively pro-Israel, so maybe best one out of three works for Haley.
Now, Haley claims she supports Trump because she’s worried about her combat veteran husband, whose service Trump mocked. She doesn’t seriously believe that Trump’s foreign policy will prevent a world war, but she just needs to sell it to people who once trusted her.
Haley short-sells her soul
Nikki Haley has fully alienated Democrats and the anti-Trump Republicans and independents who supported her during the primary. She took their money and then surrendered her delegates to Trump without a single meaningful concession, not even a Jelly of the Month Club membership.
Like Mitt Romney, Nikki Haley is positioning herself for a post-Trump leadership role within the smoking embers of the GOP. However, Romney at least has the decency not to support Trump, even if he won’t endorse Kamala Harris. Romney’s sitting on the sidelines while Haley’s cheerleading fascism for free.
Haley could’ve been a prominent voice among a pro-democracy, anti-authoritarian center-right coalition that includes former Vice President Dick Cheney, former GOP Reps. Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger, former Georgia Lt. Gov. Geoffrey Duncan, former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, former Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake, and former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who’ve all repudiated Trump and endorsed Harris.
Haley overwhelmingly lost the GOP primary in South Carolina, her home state where she served two years as governor, but she assumes she can remain relevant within the party if she’s seen as a faithful soldier while also distancing herself from MAGA’s worst impulses. You’ll notice that she rarely objects to the Trump campaign’s bigotry and misogyny from a moral position. She just argues that it’s tactically unwise. She told Brett Baier, “This is not a time to have anyone criticize Puerto Rico or Latinos,” suggesting there is a good time, like between July 4 and Labor Day.
If Trump loses because “childless cat ladies” collectively reject him, she can say “I told you so,” but without seeming too woke. This won’t impress anyone, least of all the MAGA cult, who considers her a traitor just for criticizing the Emperor’s fascist clothes.
Far-right activist Jack Posobiec posted on social media, “Not going to forget Nikki Haley publicly trashing Trump days before the election Never, ever forget what she did Trump was right not to trust her.”
The user “Freedom Piper” responded, “If Nikki Haley shows up anywhere in Trump’s administration, I will lose all faith.” Well, “Freedom Piper” won’t have to worry about losing faith in his orange god. A second Trump administration will have room for DHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (welcome back, measles!) and born again MAGA Tulsi Gabbard as Secretary of Defense. Meanwhile, Haley will stand outside the White House waving bye.
Good takedown. I completely agree about Haley. Not only is her stance morally repugnant, it's just plain stupid. It turns out it IS possible to move so far to the center that no one like you.
(The center, here, of course, is the the center of the GOP -- never-Trumpers to the left, MAGAts to the right.)
I suppose there's a couple people who might still feel warmly toward her. "Thanks for making it look like I have a spine, Nikki!" say Romney and W during their nightly prayers.
First off, kudos for Buffy, Seinfeld, Pride and Prejudice, and a Star Trek reference! That’s one of the things I love about your writing.
Ok. As for Haley, who does she think her audience is? You’re right. Her foreign policy sounds a lot like Harris’. She clearly isn’t bro-tastic. What does she think she’s fighting for.
If you’re going to lose, lose with principle, not as the door mat Trump never sees as he steps past you.