Kamala Harris Breaks Barriers, Plus Some Dummies' Heads

Democrats not in disarray

Vice President Kamala Harris clinched the Democratic presidential nomination Monday evening after quickly (not easily) securing endorsements from the more than 1,976 delegates needed to win the nomination on the first round of voting. This was a little more than 24 hours after President Joe Biden withdrew from the race. Since officially launching her campaign, Harris has broken single-day fundraising records, bringing in more than $100 million so far, and she’s neither Deadpool nor Wolverine.

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A whopping 62 percent of the 1.1 million individual donors to Harris’ campaign made their first financial contributions of the election cycle, and a reported 43,000 donors signed up for recurring donations. The Harris campaign is flush with 58,000 new volunteers — more than 100 times the daily average.

People were legitimately worried that the Will Rogers principle would apply to the Democratic Party if Biden stepped aside, leading to chaos and mass hysteria, but dogs and cats are clearly not cohabiting. Of course, the mainstream media is a little bummed, as they were thirsty for an Aaron Sorkin-style convention battle. The New York Times seems in complete denial — sad, really — and a panel of columnists on Monday pitted presumptive nominee Harris against nine other Democrats who aren’t running. The contestants were rated on perceived electability, excitement factor, and possibly a bikini round.

Another group of bored columnists wondered, “Is It a Mistake for Democrats to Go All In on Harris?” They probably miss the slapstick House Speaker follies that Republicans provided last year. Times columnist Bret Stephens argued that “Democrats Deserved a Contest, Not a Coronation,” but what the press wants is not in the best interests of the Democratic Party or the nation. Stephens ignores that the “contest” did occur but mostly behind the scenes. Harris was just very good at locking down the nomination.

Aaron Sorkin Isn't Gonna Let You Play 'West Wing' Fantasy Democratic Nominee Without Him

Harris didn’t ‘inherit’ the nomination

Jesse Watters at Fox News complained that Harris didn’t “earn” the nomination the hard way, through a bruising primary process: “She inherited it,” he said, “and Americans aren’t hot on heirs. They like self-made men and women.”

Watters himself comes from generational wealth and privilege. His maternal great-grandfather was Morton Bailey, publisher of The Saturday Evening Post; his maternal great-great-grandfather was the politician Morton S. Bailey. He’s the nephew of New Hampshire Democratic state senator David H. Watters, who’s probably embarrassed.

Donald Trump is hardly a “self-made” man, ether, but as Frasier Crane once said, his ancestors came to this country with nothing more than their “strong backs, a dream of a freedom, and a small personal fortune.”

Meghan McCain, another Horatio Alger story, wrote on social media, “It is weirdly disconcerting to have a nominee for president (possible President) who has never won one national primary… Like, not one.” There’s no need for the simile. Harris hasn’t won a primary contest, but any Democrat who voted for the 81-year-old Biden during the recent primary understood that Harris was next in line to replace him. Nikki Haley made that fact a cornerstone of her own doomed campaign. It’s not like Harris was the ninth caller in a radio contest or King Charles.

Ben Shapiro — or as he’s known in his homeland, “Racist Smurf” — insisted on Watters’ show that Harris hasn’t “earned” anything (just 12 million votes in two statewide elections) and that she’s a “manufactured” event, like pop star hoax Taylor Swift. (DEI apparently filled all those stadiums.)

Back in reality, it required tremendous leadership and preparation for Harris to clinch the nomination so quickly. She has enthusiastic support from all ideological corners of the party, including Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Abigail Spanberger, Shontel Brown, and Tom Suozzi. That didn’t happen out of haste and desperation. These relationships were built and the endorsements were earned over the course of almost four years.

According to MSNBC, 94 percent of Democrats back Harris, compared to Hillary Clinton’s 89 percent on Election Day. Could that number drop after a brief honeymoon period? It’s possible but that might require a Republican Party and right-wing media willing to engage constructively on the issues, and they prefer to hurl racist and sexist smears that will only further rally Democrats and other normal people behind Harris.

The National Republican Senate Committee reportedly shared a Harris attack memo that includes a “weird” section.

Sean Hannity ranted on his show about the threat Harris poses to unborn plastic straws. Harris has suggested in the past that Americans should consider the amount of red meat they consume, but that is obviously different from a total burger ban. The “weird” list includes Harris’s supposed affection for Venn diagrams and electric school buses. Worse, Harris “has a habit of laughing at inappropriate moments.” Hillary Clinton didn’t smile enough, and Harris laughs too much. Man, America Ferrara wasn’t joking in that Barbie monologue.

Mediocre white people think Harris isn’t qualified

GOP Rep. Tim Burchett from Tennessee grossly suggested that Harris was a “DEI vice president.” Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick said Harris would be the “queen of DEI” if elected (the “welfare” before the queen was almost audible). “Intellectually, just really kind of the bottom of the barrel,” Rep. Harriet Hageman from Wyoming said. “I think she was a DEI hire. And I think that that’s what we’re seeing, and I just don’t think that they have anybody else.”

Don’t Make Me Look At J.D. Vance For 4 Years

The actual “DEI hire” remains Trump’s vice presidential intern J.D. Vance, who’s objectively the least qualified running mate in decades. Vance blew a dog whistle the other day about how Harris has done nothing of value for 20 years but cash a “government check.” That’s a cheap shot at Harris’s extensive public service: She was San Fransisco district attorney for seven years, attorney general of California for six years, and served in the Senate for four years. Vance is a former Marine, so he’s also benefitted from a “government check” before Peter Thiel picked him up on eBay.

During a closed-door meeting on Tuesday, Rep. Richard Hudson, who’s in charge of helping Republicans win elections, warned caucus members that they should focus on Harris’ record and not her race and gender. Don’t wear the klan robes out in public. That’s for the password-protected meetings.

If Republicans can’t credibly attack Harris’s credentials, they’ll just stoop to claiming she earned them on her back. Megyn Kelly posted on social media that Harris “actually did sleep her way into and upwards in California politics and most women (and men) may learn that and see it for what it is: evidence of an unqualified political aspirant getting ahead based on (something) other than merit. It’s relevant and it’s fair game.” No, actually, it’s defamation, though fortunately for Kelly, Harris is very much a public figure so she won’t have to worry about getting sued into oblivion. Social media quickly clapped back at Kelly and reminded everyone that she’d allegedly had an affair with Brit Hume at Fox News. Hypocrisy is one of Kelly’s many character flaws.

It’s true that Harris once dated then-Speaker of the California State Assembly Willie Brown, who appointed her to the state Unemployment Insurance Appeals Board and later to the California Medical Assistance Commission. You can question the ethics of that relationship, but Harris was hired as deputy district attorney in Alameda County four years earlier. She was already considered an “able prosecutor” on the rise. You can’t really fake convictions records and she obviously got elected statewide twice on her own merits. If Brown has that much power, Congress should look like the Wakandan Tribal Council. As Gloria Steinem said, if women could sleep their way to the top, there would be far more women at the top. It usually works out worse for women professionally when their male supervisors take an interest in them — remember Harvey Weinstein.

While we shouldn’t ignore these pathetic smears against Harris, they do reveal how desperate Republicans are. They thought they’d coast to victory hammering an unpopular incumbent, and now they are left grasping for plastic straws.

MSNBC’s Katy Tur wondered if voters would want to have a beer with Harris. That hypothetical, which supposedly tests a candidate’s likability, is posed in somewhat gendered terms, so it’s a rigged test. However, women are a larger share of the electorate than men. You might as well ask “would you want to share a table with this person at a wedding reception?” or “would you want to spend the afternoon making cookies with her?” I enjoy a nice craft beer as much as the next Portlander, but I’d also appreciate a pleasant conversation about Venn diagrams with the next president of the United States.

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