The Continuing Madness Of Wannabe King Trump
This is not a prestige film.
Imagine a rotting cabbage in the Oval Office. Its putrefying stench is undeniable and inescapable yet no one tries to remove it. That cabbage is still a preferable president to Donald Trump, whose cognitive abilities are far below those of the average leafy green vegetable.
Last weekend, Trump posted an AI image of himself as the Pope. That’s hardly normal behavior, and grieving Catholics weren’t thrilled with Trump’s adolescent trolling. When the press later asked him if he thought his South Park-level diplomacy was offensive, he said, “You mean they can’t take a joke? You don't mean the Catholics, you mean the fake news media. The Catholics loved it. I had nothing to do with it. Maybe it was AI.”
Even more blasphemous — at least from my perspective — the White House posted an image of a beefed-up, shirtless AI Trump wielding a light saber on Star Wars Day.
“Happy May the 4th to all, including the Radical Left Lunatics who are fighting so hard to to bring Sith Lords, Murderers, Drug Lords, Dangerous Prisoners, & well known MS-13 Gang Members, back into our Galaxy,” the actual White House proclaimed. “You’re not the Rebellion — you’re the Empire. May the 4th be with you.”
AI Trump’s light saber was red, like an evil Sith lord — although even they wouldn’t include him in their ranks. This continues a trend of MAGA fundamentally misunderstanding Star Wars. Brad Parscale declared back in 2020 that Trump’s re-election campaign operation was like the Death Star. It’s not as if George Lucas is James Joyce. The text is pretty straightforward.
These are just recent examples of Trump’s obviously deteriorating mental state. Now, some very clever people insist this is all a distraction. He’s only acting like he’s insane to provide cover for his insane policies. That seems like a distinction without a difference. Besides, it’s relevant that the sitting U.S. president’s brain is a rotten cabbage.
Trump too often gets a pass on his most unhinged behaviors. If President Kamala Harris had posted an idealized image of herself in Princess Leia’s Return of the Jedi outfit, Democrats would have joined Republicans in calling for her immediate impeachment, even if she at least understood who the good guys were in the Star Wars films. If she’d dared joked about becoming the first female Pope, they wouldn’t have bothered with impeachment but just invoked the 25th Amendment: “President Tim Walz: Because The Black Lady Went Crazy.”
Voters and the media expect Trump to act like a clown, and when he makes balloon animals out of the global economy, they just consider it part of the act. The problem is the mad king has made lunacy official policy. Attorney General Pam Bondi is a shameless Trump sycophant, but she’s had to step up her crazy game to keep up with her boss.
On April 29, Bondi posted this absurd lie on social media: “Today is Fentanyl Awareness Day. In President Trump’s first 100 days we’ve seized over 22 million fentanyl laced pills, saving over 119 Million lives.” That’s about one-third of the U.S. population, and no, I’m not wasting time explaining why those numbers make no sense. It’s not as if she stuck with them for very long.
During a North Korean style Cabinet meeting, where those assembled paid Trump a tribute of their dignity and connection to reality, Bondi announced, “Since you have been in office President Trump, your DOJ agencies have seized more than 22 million fentanyl pills, 3,400 kilos of fentanyl, since your last hundred days, which saved — are you ready for this, media? — 258 million lives.”
That’s now 75 percent of the U.S. population Trump has saved from fentanyl overdoses. Bondi’s not even bothering with plausible lies.
Sunday, Trump randomly announced that he wants to rebuild and reopen Alcatraz, which is currently a museum. Someone suggested that President Cabbage Head might’ve been inspired by a Saturday night airing of the 1979 Clint Eastwood film Escape from Alcatraz. (Watch below.)
Monday, Bondi promoted the administration’s barbaric policies on Fox News, and host Larry Kudlow asked her about Trump’s latest idiocy. “The president suggested over the weekend maybe rebuild and reopen Alcatraz,” he said. “Put them there, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean somewhere.”
“I’m all for that,” she said without the slightest hesitation. “All for that. And I think it will be a cost savings.”
Alcatraz was a significant money suck, even for San Francisco real estate. When it shut down in 1963, Alcatraz cost the U.S. government between $3 to $5 million just to keep open, and that excludes daily operating costs. It was almost three times more expensive than other federal prisons.
But those are facts, which are subordinate to Trump’s feelings. Department of Homeland Security official Tricia McLaughlin raved, “Our country was founded on innovation and out of the box ideas, and I think that this is a great idea from President Trump.”
Although McLaughlin clearly knows the definition of “toady,” I question her use of the term “innovation” for Trump’s latest mad scheme, which Trump can’t even discuss coherently.
“It was a lot of shark bites, a lot of problems. Nobody ever escaped from Alcatraz.” Strange that a successful escape from Alcatraz is the one conspiracy theory Trump won’t embrace. “It sorta represents something that's both horrible and beautiful and strong and miserable, weak. It’s got a lot of qualities that are interesting.”
Republican Sen. Markwayne Mullin is also a fan of Alcatraz’s “interesting qualities.” During a Fox News interview, he said, “Let’s have Rikers and Alcatraz both open.” (Rikers Island is a jail not a prison.) “So we got east coast and west coast both covered. Put our most notorious criminals in them so people understand we’re a nation of laws again, unlike under Biden ... I don’t believe in keeping them comfortable. I want them to regret the crime.”
Apparently, you have to sound like Trump to remain in good standing in the GOP. It’s a steep price to pay.
Trump was no more rational on Tuesday when he met with newly elected Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney, who told him that Canada will never, ever become the 51st U.S. state and Trump responded “never say never,” which is in character for an adjudicated rapist.
Then Trump rambled on about how he’d pimped up the Oval Office with “love and 24 karat gold.” Meanwhile, small business owners in America are at risk of losing everything they’ve actually worked for because of his madness. (Watch below.)
Trump didn’t stop the with the gibberish during Carney’s visit. He insisted that the U.S. doesn’t need foreign markets and went on to describe the U.S. as a “super luxury store, a store that has the goods.”
“You’re going to come and you’re going to pay a price, and we’re going to give you a very good price, we’re going to make very good deals, and in some cases, we’ll adjust, but that’s where it is.”
If only there were an actual cabbage in the line of succession. America might stand a fighting chance.
Murc's Law and the fully-powered up rightwing media human centipede make this all possible. And the madness of this gibbering tyrant foisted upon us is just the continued poke in the eyes from the unreconstructed. The unreconstructed with their outsized power in the United States, and the ability to benefit from Americans who want to prioritize their prejudice, privilege and/or Internet clout.
And make no mistake, a lot of the death cultists are fine with what's happening. Yes, reopening Alcatraz is a boondoggle and extremely expensive (If I recall correctly this is one reason Washington State closed its island corrections facility at McNeil Island I wanna say). But the money squandered on Alcatraz is that much less that can be used on social services. Sadopopulism requires grand spectacle, and grand suffering, after all.
We have to wait for the American electorate to upgrade.
Alcatraz is in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, we should call it the Alcatraz Ocean.
Just being consistent.