45 Comments
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Tommy Mo's avatar

Whenever I see a photo of Kristi Noem, Tulsi Gabbard, Karoline Leavitt, Pam Bondi, Empty G, Lauren Boebert, et al, I think of this, for some reason:

https://youtu.be/gbOTzuseHys?si=eHUUFi1UpYKVtCmq

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Jeff Smith's avatar

"Noem’s a dullard." Says it all. Thanks, Stephen!!!

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Gary Seven in Space's avatar

How do we know her Signal equipped phone wasn’t in there as well? Can we just believe them when they say it wasn’t? Why should we?

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Janet Amaral's avatar

Has anyone noticed with all that crap in her purse, she didn't lose her PHONE? This key detail seems important to me, and I carry a LOT of junk in my purse lol.

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Nina Gilliam's avatar

When I'm in a restaurant, I hang my purse over the back of my chair, so if anyone were to grab it I would know immediately. On the rare occasions when I put it on the floor, I place thread the strap over one of my legs and then "hold" the body if the purse between my feet.

I'm guessing Noem is so used to having a security detail that she isn't as vigilant as she should be. No excuse for her lack of concern about the whereabouts of her IDs, passes and cash.

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Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

Also floors are dirty. Why would you put an expensive purse full of all your most valuable stuff on the floor? Make one of the Secret Service guys hold it. The people running this country are not bright.

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Sadly Practical's avatar

Argh argh the whole “put my bag on the restaurant floor” squicks me out so terribly. Floors are not particularly clean, anywhere, but under tables where everyone’s feet have been all day is so awful when I feel certain that purse is then going to go on the dining room table or the kitchen counter. It’s so ick, and I think is the result of the increasingly enormous purses people carry around - they don’t fit in the chair or in your lap or on the seat next to you because they’re bigger than a backpack.

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Mr Canoehead/M Tête-Canoë's avatar

I had to double check whether she was the same person who gave her date a handjob at a live performance of Beetlejuice.

She isn't. The mind boggles.

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jpg's avatar

I have been baffled by it all. The more that comes out, the more stupid it gets. Wouldn’t a normal person just stay quiet and get new IDs, checks and credit cards?

But then it hit me, the contents we’ve been told about might be part of what could be a DC Trumper prepper bag, you know, when MAGA turns on you and is chasing you with the Mike Pence gallows……you got to go, don’t stop at home. I’m guessing the unpublicized additional contents of the DC Trumper prepper bag would include:

-One way plane ticket to Dubai

-UAE open ended Visa

As backup if Dubai won’t take you

-One way plane ticket to Riyadh

-open ended Saudi Visa

- black Abaya and hijab

-box of peanut butter crackers

-multivitamins

-sowing kit

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WTH Is Going On?! Chris Berrie's avatar

These greedy, callous, self-obsessed dumkoffs! Bad enough they play loose and fast with their own assets, but they’re destroying our country’s collective assets, as well.

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WTH Is Going On?! Chris Berrie's avatar

These dumkoffs

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BrandoG's avatar

I dint mind speculating. This administration is rife with grifters and crooks, it’s even encouraged because it gives Trump security knowing his band of thugs owe him and could only get ahead in a world run by a corrupt thug like him.

So yes she was carrying cash for an illicit payoff or claiming the loss as part of an insurance scam. The only thing I doubt is that there’s a benign explanation for this.

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Kay-El's avatar

I don’t know the reasons for Noem having that all those items which singular wouldn’t be a BFD but together looks mighty suspicious. It would be irresponsible not to speculate. I’m enjoying reading all the possibilities, but mostly I’m enjoying reading the Keystone Kops flavor of it all.

(I once had my purse stolen and while they didn’t find much, amazingly they left my house/car keys for me)

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Sadly Practical's avatar

One of my dear friends has an amazing story of her mother yelling after muggers to please leave her new work shoes, and the muggers took the shoes out of her bag and dropped them while leaving with the rest.

I suppose they think “I’m a thief, not a MONSTER.”

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SethTriggs's avatar

I've said this elsewhere, but a security lapse this bad means that someone was close enough to *kill* her.

Also as she is one of this maladministration's sewer clowns I'm going to call CAP on the 3K. That said the other stuff missing, shows she's in over her head just as much as Hic!Seth. This is astoundingly clownshoes conduct, and I think if I had fucked up this bad I would get sacked forthwith. But I guess I don't have the connections to be able to fuck up without consequences.

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babaganusz's avatar

...or the party affiliation.

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Stephen Robinson's avatar

As Michael Corleone said, "If anything in this life is certain, if history has taught us anything, it's that you can kill anyone.”

The greater question is often whether you can kill someone and *survive.* However, to your point, it seems this guy could have killed Noem and gotten away with it -- maybe her security would've tried to apprehend him, return fire, but it's a crowded restaurant.

I also wonder if our security practices have adapted for the modern era -- one that Trump himself has exploited. Even just 10 years ago, the average person would've have known or been able to identify the DHS secretary in public. Noem is all over the news and in ads promoting Trump's awful policies. She's a much bigger target now.

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Yamuna Ramachandran's avatar

Ten bucks says she’s got a $20,000 Hermes bag by tomorrow.

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SethTriggs's avatar

I guess security by obscurity only works so far as you're dealing with someone who doesn't know what they're doing. A professional hit apparently would have a great chance to cause havoc with these potted plants. She might as well have been just carrying one of those plastic padlocks that one could get in the 1980s where you just twist the face and it opens up.

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cindy ramirez's avatar

i love that you referenced Goofus. 😂💖they are all Goofus, he always did the worst things. 🤦🏽‍♀️

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Old Man Shadow's avatar

Occam's razor doesn't help much when it's equally likely that Trump administration officials are both incredibly stupid and also incredibly corrupt and up to something crooked.

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Sherry's avatar

Of course she SAYS that’s what was in her purse but maybe she’s lying. That would be on par for her. At least WRT the cash.

Sorry if I am unable to garner sympathy for this vile woman.

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