Everyone Hates JD Vance. That's Why He's Perfect For 2028.
The top of the losing ticket ...
JD Vance keep fucking the couch politically. The vice president openly rallied for Hungarian ghoul Victor Urban, who voters kicked out of office. He failed to negotiate a lasting end to the Iran War his boss Donald Trump started for no good reason. Then he became the sloppy seconds replacement act for Turning Point USA widow activist in charge Erika Kirk, who backed out due to security concerns. However, the Secret Service cleared Vance to appear at the University of Georgia event before an audience of dozens.
Just look at this dismal crowd! When I attended UGA in the early to mid 1990s, you could find more conservatives at the local gay club, Boneshakers.
There was still enough people present to heckle Vance, which probably occurs wherever he goes, including his own home. (Watch below.)
Vance demonstrated his usual political savvy when he picked a fight with Pope Leo XIV, who said that true followers of Christ are “never on the side of those who once wielded the sword and today drop bombs.” Vance, who officially converted to Catholicism in 2019 when Old Town Road topped the charts, now believes he can challenge the literal pope on Biblical meaning.
“Was God on the side of the Americans who liberated France from the Nazis?” Vance asked, initiating his own sociopathic dialogue with an absent Pope Leo. “I certainly think the answer is yes.”
I’m not sure God was on anyone’s side in World War II considering that he apparently stood on the sidelines as Hitler’s goons murdered six million Jews, including children, but God works in mysterious ways or — in JD Vance’s case — while dead-ass drunk. I think Pope Leo likely means that God sides with those who never seek to wield the sword and drop bombs, who find other methods.
Nonetheless, Vance warned that Pope Leo “needs to be careful when he talks about matters of theology.” Even Republican Senate Leader John Thune thought that was a bit much: “Isn’t that [the pope’s] job?” Thune said. “I’d stay focused on… the economic issues, pocketbook issues that most Americans care about. And let the church be the church.”
It’s no wonder Pope Leo is more popular than both Vance and Trump. According to CNN pollster Harry Enten, Pope Leo’s net popularity rating is +34 points and Trump’s is -12 points. Vance is the least popular vice president in history, and this includes Dan Quayle. He’s 18 points underwater. American Catholics mostly agree with the pope about the Iran War, but the war still has higher approval that Vance and Trump. I presume this is because Pope Leo can order doughnuts correctly.
Vance is so unpopular and so terrible at both the logistical and human aspects of politics that it’s believed his career has “peaked” at the vice presidency, which is still pretty good for a 41-year-old who served barely two years in the Senate before Trump picked him out of a political bubble-gum machine.
The Financial Times suggests that “after a series of setbacks, the vice-president is no longer Trump’s obvious successor.” I disagree. I think the couch fucker’s ideally suited to succeed an incumbent president whose approval rating is currently below syphillis. Trump is leading the GOP off an electoral cliff. Democrats have consistently outperformed in every special election since Trump slithered back into the White House. The upcoming midterm elections look like a disaster for Republicans, and there’s no reason to think that it won’t be the same or worse in 2028.
During his half-a-keg gathering at UGA, Vance tried to blame the nation’s lousy economic condition on Joe Biden, who hasn’t been president for more than a year. Polls show that no one’s buying the scapegoat routine. Smearing Biden helped Trump and Republicans reclaim the White House in 2024, but they can only pull that trick once. Anyone paying attention knows Trump is solely responsible for torching an economy that was steadily improving under Biden. Trump has even made history as the first president who voters can fairly blame for rising gas prices.
Vance has tried to distance himself Trump’s most catastrophic mistakes, particularly the Iran War. His team clearly leaked self-serving background to the press about how Vance was “skeptical” of the war, which might explain why Trump saddled him with a prominent, public role in the Iraq War that blew up in his stupid round face.
No, JD Vance fully owns this administration’s nightmare record, which is why any Republican with presidential ambitions will sit out 2028 and let Vance carry Trump’s weighted anchor. Thus, Vance will probably “win” the same Monkey’s Paw presidential nomination that Kamala Harris received in 2024.
After withdrawing from the race in July 2024, Biden told Fox News’ Paul Doocy that he didn’t think Harris would distance herself from his economic policies. That turned out to be the case, and whether it was misguided loyalty or simple lack of imagination, it was a fatal error. Vance isn’t troubled by loyalty or scruple, but Trump would never let him escape his shadow. Trump, if regrettably still alive during the 2028 election, would probably trash any Republican candidate who didn’t suitably praise him as the greatest president who ever existed, but as the sitting vice president, Vance is the most vulnerable to those body blows.
Even if JD Vance’s approval dips below kidney stones the size of basketballs, I don’t think there are many Republicans who will seriously challenge him. They have nothing to gain and everything to lose. Better to lay low, let Vance get pantsed, and then start working to sabotage the incoming Democratic president. Unfortunately, that trick does work more than once.
When Democrats are in power, Republicans operate as almost a separate government from a hostile nation. Democratic attempts to govern in good faith are constantly undermined. That’s what the next Democratic president will face unless they figure out how to flip the script. If Democrats prevail in 2028, they will inherit Trump’s dystopian dumpster fire, and Republicans will immediately start blaming them for everything that’s still wrong. Meanwhile, the Jill Stein set will blame Democrats for not fixing everything immediately, as if the next president could just blow up the Master’s Paradox Machine and magically rewind the past four years so that they never happened.
Of course, the worst thing that could happen for Republicans (and liberal democracy) is that Vance actually wins because Democrats stupidly nominate someone who makes Mike Dukakis look like Barack Obama. That’s a doom loop we need to break.
On the other hand, Republicans always know the assignment in the fall and will always make sure they vote, and Democrats are always about Charisma™ and Saying the Pretty Things What Democrats Like in Every Situation.
To achieve what the unreconstructed among us want only requires entropy. This is also why the vast majority of their Congressional reps are essentially social media influencers; all they have to do is suck at their actual jobs. If you replaced each and every one of them with a fire hydrant it would achieve the same ends.
Democrats require actual legislators because doing the things we want typically requires statute. Think about Mamdani. He actually knows what he's doing as a manager. He's not a social media influencer first.
I have been rubbing my hands with glee, like a cartoon villain, just waiting to enjoy the spectacle of Vance running for president, while Trump throws gigantic tantrums. As long as Trump is alive, he won't allow anyone else to be president. Anyone in his party who tries to run will be forced to run against a Democrat, and MAGA orcs energized to violence by Trump's behavior and comments. Trump will force a shitshow for Republican candidates for any office.