"He also asked the staff how long the shop has existed — as if they were supposed to know and care."
I absolutely would have bullshitted him.
"Actually it's been open since 1876- it was established to celebrate the centenary. Yeah. By Giacomo Ciambella, who is credited with having invented the doughnut, actually. The shape was based on the idea of revolution, like the colonists had successfully carried out, and they were originally called "wheel cakes". Dusting it with sugar was to acknowledge the role slaves had played in the country."
"There’s always some lonely jelly doughnut left at the end of the day."
This incident really did teach me about US culture. For instance, this is totally the opposite of what would happen in the UK, where the jam doughnuts (almost always the jam is raspberry, and I don't know if it's the same in the US. For us it's the default.) would go first. There might be some apple jam filled ones, and those are basically traps- the shop will not clearly label them and they exist solely so people like me will take them, bite into them and then go "urgh. Apple." and be unable to do anything with what is left.
Then there's custard ones, and as far as I can tell they exist only for monsters.
To be fair, I recently picked up a box of Krispy Kremes and a box of dots (donut holes for those who speak Dunkin) for a group of people.
The donuts were easy. As you suggest: a box of glazed. The standard, the original, the classic. For the dots, I literally said, "Just mix em up, whatever works."
I suspect that was what he was going for with his order.
Yeast. 😬 He could’ve just asked the staff what they’d recommend! Or what the bestsellers are! It’s the perfect conversation starter! But, failing as human, he wouldn’t know a cruller from a berliner. And that’s just sad.
I love Tim Walz, but I detest Swiss cheese with the fire of a thousand suns. 😖 And that’s a hill I’m willing to die on.
I grew up in a rural blue-collar small town and I just assume all people from such environments can do store chitchat. My husband is from NYC and when we went to the dry cleaners and I started chatting people up he told me (outside) "we don't do that here!" Lol
Same here. I’m a small town girl who can chat with anyone. You don’t do it all the time but you can easily revert to small talk when you need to, it’s ingrained in my rural DNA. I’m surprised as well that JD choked so badly.
Hardly anyone is mentioning Mr Upholsterer's Worst Nightmare could easily become president if his party manages to cheat their corrupt asses back into the White House again, mostly because the venereal disease on top of the ticket is scary enough.
Vance sees everyday people as "the unwashed masses;" Walz is a man of the people because he seems himself as one of them. Turns out a person's worldview makes a world of difference.
My Southern spouse likes glazed and I, a New York product, like plain cake donuts. We accommodate this disparity by never eating donuts. This is another reason I cannot be a politician.
"He also asked the staff how long the shop has existed — as if they were supposed to know and care."
I absolutely would have bullshitted him.
"Actually it's been open since 1876- it was established to celebrate the centenary. Yeah. By Giacomo Ciambella, who is credited with having invented the doughnut, actually. The shape was based on the idea of revolution, like the colonists had successfully carried out, and they were originally called "wheel cakes". Dusting it with sugar was to acknowledge the role slaves had played in the country."
"There’s always some lonely jelly doughnut left at the end of the day."
This incident really did teach me about US culture. For instance, this is totally the opposite of what would happen in the UK, where the jam doughnuts (almost always the jam is raspberry, and I don't know if it's the same in the US. For us it's the default.) would go first. There might be some apple jam filled ones, and those are basically traps- the shop will not clearly label them and they exist solely so people like me will take them, bite into them and then go "urgh. Apple." and be unable to do anything with what is left.
Then there's custard ones, and as far as I can tell they exist only for monsters.
To be fair, I recently picked up a box of Krispy Kremes and a box of dots (donut holes for those who speak Dunkin) for a group of people.
The donuts were easy. As you suggest: a box of glazed. The standard, the original, the classic. For the dots, I literally said, "Just mix em up, whatever works."
I suspect that was what he was going for with his order.
Hillbilly that don’t know how to order a doughnut?
Kamala and Tim have to do a repeat performance at the same shop. It would kill.
"Vance is a wannabe Tom Buchanan but without Jay Gatsby’s charm and relatable goal." -- Yes.
Zion, Bryce and Death Valley
Those poor staff behind the counter had to suffer that fool. Vance did not win over any hearts or minds with that cringy performance
This is a hilarious read! Oh my goodness,.. "Live from NY, It's Saturday Night"
What a misread
Yeast. 😬 He could’ve just asked the staff what they’d recommend! Or what the bestsellers are! It’s the perfect conversation starter! But, failing as human, he wouldn’t know a cruller from a berliner. And that’s just sad.
I love Tim Walz, but I detest Swiss cheese with the fire of a thousand suns. 😖 And that’s a hill I’m willing to die on.
"These all look good! What would you recommend?" will always go down well
Exactly!
I grew up in a rural blue-collar small town and I just assume all people from such environments can do store chitchat. My husband is from NYC and when we went to the dry cleaners and I started chatting people up he told me (outside) "we don't do that here!" Lol
Same here. I’m a small town girl who can chat with anyone. You don’t do it all the time but you can easily revert to small talk when you need to, it’s ingrained in my rural DNA. I’m surprised as well that JD choked so badly.
Got no dad joke game
Omg you’re right… that’s even more eerie! Is a dad without dad jokes even a dad? 🤨
"The average A.I. chatbot is more personable"
CouchGPT.
Hardly anyone is mentioning Mr Upholsterer's Worst Nightmare could easily become president if his party manages to cheat their corrupt asses back into the White House again, mostly because the venereal disease on top of the ticket is scary enough.
If I was serving Vance at the donut counter:
V: 'Well, what kind do you want?'
JDV: 'Whatever makes sense'
V: 'We got plain'
JDV:
V: *sneezes* 'And we got glazed'
No sprinkles?
Vance sees everyday people as "the unwashed masses;" Walz is a man of the people because he seems himself as one of them. Turns out a person's worldview makes a world of difference.
My Southern spouse likes glazed and I, a New York product, like plain cake donuts. We accommodate this disparity by never eating donuts. This is another reason I cannot be a politician.
You can't be pro-choicr and each order your own preference?