I need to signal to people that I'm a serious political commentator.
This means that I have to celebrate the humour of the Republicans' candidate when he "playfully" nicknames his rivals and talks about the size of his penis in debates, because this brash, brawling style is a breath of fresh air in the stuffy, elitist world of DC politics that reinvigorates so-called "flyover" America, and lets them know this is their guy- a no-holds-barred performer who relishes the fight and keeps them spellbound with his clever zingers like calling women "nasty". It also means I have to beg Democrats to be more relatable and less elitist, while also scolding them for ever letting any humour enter their discourse. This is a serious business- if you really believe Trump threatens democracy, would you spend your time trying to undermine his campaign with mockery?
Yeah politico can fuck all the way off. If you (politico, nyt .... )(You, you) did your job as a journalist, maybe people would be paying attention to the actual lies and harm and yes, evil that maga has done ...but corporate media sucks dick balls. And we might still joke about the couch. but I think people are hilarious about it because it's the only thing the media will talk about, they won't talk about post-birth abortion bullshit. No one has fact checked them on that stupid phrase. Except on Twitter I see people saying yes school shootings are post birth abortion.
Lord Hawley Hawley struck an Angry Old John Travolta pose for the insurrectionists but then ran like a scared rabbit when they came. Great leadership skills there!
If Jake Dickface was just a run of the mill fucker, I’d label him a fuckwit or a fuckwad. However, he is creepy gross and the addition of “couch” in front of “fucker” gives the description that je ne sais quoi it so richly deserves.
As much as I appreciate Jesus' advice to turn the other cheek, sometimes you have to listen to Jim Malone's advice instead when you're trying to bring down smug, dishonest, dirty sleazeballs:
"They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue."
I heard this new talking point on MPR today, and thought it was a really weird way to go. That's republicans' best reason that people should vote for Mr. Bonespurs instead?
Every time I hear Vance speak, all I hear is a bad impression of one of the Trump kids (it's not surprise they lobbied for Jay-WeirD's selection), like someone who is trying his hardest to land a job at the Trump Org. This is, of course, very sad and pathetic for a myriad of obvious reasons, namely the fact Vance is arguably smarter than any of the Trumps. But Vance is a broken man completely blinded by ambition, devoid of anything resembling charisma, a sense of humor or dignity; he has debased himself to the point of no return, forever stuck between the couch cushions.
So as Stephen pointed out, he is objectively a metaphorical couch fucker.
The couch-fucking thing isn't even remotely funny. It was contrived and baseless. I was told to go fuck myself on another substack for pointing this out, but sorry, this Canadian doesn't get it.
Vance is a human pus-wart, but amplifying what is in effect, completely fake news, as much as it makes people feel good, is head-scratchingly dumb. Mebbe I don't get the 4 year American electoral cycle or something, but Vance has demonstrated and been called out for far stupider behavior without this.
Kinda like the popularity of Adam Sandler, another thing I don't get.
Otherwise, an excellently written article Stephen, as always.
I am an American, who was at one time a teenage girl beset by the kind of bullying that included flat out absurd lies about me, who spent a lot of years teaching children about internet safety and the damage they could cause with online bullying, and I don’t like it either.
And now I can get accused of being po-faced and not getting the joke for not liking it, or refusing to bully a bully, so that’s fun. I get the joke, as a librarian I particularly appreciate the fact that the original included a false citation as part of the joke on people who will believe anything with an authority attached in a world where liars have whole industries to pump out crap research. But I still don’t like it and I’m glad it’s hit the common Internet tipping point where the references to it are around the meme itself and not the original joke and how it can be used to bully someone, which is how it was being used last week.
Fuck bullies, is all I have to say. And fuck those who would think they’re bullying in a good cause. It’s still bullying, and bullying is seen by plenty of children who don’t get your irony and instead decide this will be a hilarious way to treat others.
I never underestimate how “obvious lie” humor will convince the idiots to whom the lie isn’t obvious.
This is an excellent reply and touches on why I don't find it at all funny. Humour (even negative like this) always has a core of truth to make it effective. This does not and has the added effect of making him a victim.
Now I think you do get it. After years of republican slander, lies, and vitriol, it's just great to see them get all worked up about this stupid insult no one actually believes.
The couch-fucker thing took off BECAUSE he's a human pus-wart. It has had the knock-on effect of pushing him back off balance, because he (and the Trump campaign) is absolutely incapable of the slightest bit of self-deprecation. He could have killed it's effect in a heartbeat, if he approached it with any sort of humor, like putting on a fake Bill Clinton accent and saying "I Did not have sectional relations with that couch" and laughing at himself.
But neither he or the rest of the MAGAsphere are at ALL capable of that, and that makes them vulnerable to being laughed at.
We can call them a danger to democracy, corrupt, vile and mean all day long and they hold that to themselves like an affirmation "I am a rebel, and outlaw and a tough guy!" They are bullies. and like all bullies are completely fragile when hit in the right spot.
Calling them dangerous is pounding on the head of the drop with a hammer. Calling them couch-fuckers is breaking off the tiniest bit of the tail. It aims at precisely the weakest part of their psyche.
Because really this wouldn't have stuck on anyone else. This wouldn't have even stuck on *Mike Pence,* who notably calls his wife "Mother" and has a rule where he can't be alone with a woman. THAT is weird.
And Shady Vance manages to top even that because he's a thoroughly unlikable person. A humorless, poseur scold who I seriously doubt has friends now (and he indeed has reportedly hypocritically turned on friends like a trans friend he had years ago). He threw his own wife under the bus in order to curry favor for the Nazi supporters of his ticket. Seeing him attempt to tell a joke is like watching pigeons peck at a puddle of vomit. NTSB reports where there are no survivors are funnier than this guy.
It's more about ridicule. People know it's false, but it's because Vance is exactly the kind of panty-sniffing busybody that tends to have kinks that are not befitting of their piousness. This might not be as big a thing in Canada and that would explain why it seems strange.
This is a whole thing that happens in the U.S.A. Generally the more of a censorious moral scold someone is, the more likely they have some really strange bedroom habits (as they spend time sniffing in ours). Notable examples include Matt Schlapp and Jerry Falwell Jr., both Christian conservatives with some out-there habits.
Shady Vance invited this ridicule with his out-of-line slandering of wide swaths of the population, and his hypocritical association with a creep (President Klan Robe himself) who exemplifies everything this huckster professed to be against. And that he and his pals join in on the quantification of Kamala Harris' race, well the gloves are off.
And we're all so tired. We get to watch people constantly attack and blood libel Democrats. I think we just collectively hit our limit and don't care anymore. And some of this, I am sure, is payback for what was done to Joe Biden, and again, what is currently being done to Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.
But hey take heart, at least we're not doing something like accusing Joe Biden of sniffing little girls, or saying Kamala Harris is why fentanyl killed relatives and such (or even just saying all immigrants bring fentanyl and so they're responsible for OD deaths).
Thanks, I know this is a thing, like 'weird' (which I fully understand and support, because it's true and stabs those fuckers in the heart), but I really shake my head that this lands... cultural difference, I guess.
Also JD just cantributed an affirmative marketing blurb to Jack Posobiec's (The originator of the Pizzagate slander) new book, in which Posobiec calls liberals 'unpersons' who should be exterminated.
This is straight up Nazi shit. And JD "Couch-fucker" Vance thinks this is a great book.
Yeah really. Frankly the couch thing is light compared to this. THAT is the intellectual company Shady Vance keeps.
Every time I want to entertain the upbraiding by someone who says "oh you ridiculing these rightwing creeps is so immature" I then think of what they did to Ashley Biden.
I have to agree—J.D. Vance may not be a literal couchfucker, but he sure acts like he is!
What do U say to two jerks on a couch?
Rollover and don't let the Crack stop U!
I need to signal to people that I'm a serious political commentator.
This means that I have to celebrate the humour of the Republicans' candidate when he "playfully" nicknames his rivals and talks about the size of his penis in debates, because this brash, brawling style is a breath of fresh air in the stuffy, elitist world of DC politics that reinvigorates so-called "flyover" America, and lets them know this is their guy- a no-holds-barred performer who relishes the fight and keeps them spellbound with his clever zingers like calling women "nasty". It also means I have to beg Democrats to be more relatable and less elitist, while also scolding them for ever letting any humour enter their discourse. This is a serious business- if you really believe Trump threatens democracy, would you spend your time trying to undermine his campaign with mockery?
BE BETTER.
Yeah politico can fuck all the way off. If you (politico, nyt .... )(You, you) did your job as a journalist, maybe people would be paying attention to the actual lies and harm and yes, evil that maga has done ...but corporate media sucks dick balls. And we might still joke about the couch. but I think people are hilarious about it because it's the only thing the media will talk about, they won't talk about post-birth abortion bullshit. No one has fact checked them on that stupid phrase. Except on Twitter I see people saying yes school shootings are post birth abortion.
Ire not at journalist SER of course.
Lord Hawley Hawley struck an Angry Old John Travolta pose for the insurrectionists but then ran like a scared rabbit when they came. Great leadership skills there!
If Jake Dickface was just a run of the mill fucker, I’d label him a fuckwit or a fuckwad. However, he is creepy gross and the addition of “couch” in front of “fucker” gives the description that je ne sais quoi it so richly deserves.
I feel like you are trying to make “couch fucker” happen, and I am HERE. FOR. IT.
Josh Hawley is such a couch fucker. So’s Ted Cruz for that matter.
As much as I appreciate Jesus' advice to turn the other cheek, sometimes you have to listen to Jim Malone's advice instead when you're trying to bring down smug, dishonest, dirty sleazeballs:
"They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue."
Ron Fournier. Noah Rothman. Megan McCardle. LOL! These people are literally typing from their sofas. Today’s equivalent of ‘phoning it in.’
Buncha idiots, when they go low we need to step on their neck and curb stomp them.
I can't wait for the VP debate. A football coach knows just how to deal with the young hotshot who thinks the rules don't apply to him.
Edited to add: and so does a Master Sergeant.
“Sold his soul for Pez” — I love it. 😂😂
He has the best zingers for sure!
SER was a must-subscribe for me. There are few people who can wield words like he can. Wish I could do that.
Well, Seth..now don't poo poo your commentary too. It's always well measured, insightful and intelligent. I really enjoy your comments.
Thanks a ton and I am always grateful for your support and camaraderie!
"However, Walz retired from the National Guard in 2005 after 25 years of service — months before his unit received deployment orders"
And he would have had to put in his retirement request months before that, because military bureaucracy.
I heard this new talking point on MPR today, and thought it was a really weird way to go. That's republicans' best reason that people should vote for Mr. Bonespurs instead?
Every time I hear Vance speak, all I hear is a bad impression of one of the Trump kids (it's not surprise they lobbied for Jay-WeirD's selection), like someone who is trying his hardest to land a job at the Trump Org. This is, of course, very sad and pathetic for a myriad of obvious reasons, namely the fact Vance is arguably smarter than any of the Trumps. But Vance is a broken man completely blinded by ambition, devoid of anything resembling charisma, a sense of humor or dignity; he has debased himself to the point of no return, forever stuck between the couch cushions.
So as Stephen pointed out, he is objectively a metaphorical couch fucker.
I for one believe he doth protest too much and is objectively a literal couch fucker.
I mean we can't prove he DIDN'T do it...neither could the AP!
He actually has an uncanny resemblance to Junior.
And of course JD goes after the woman, who is running for President, not the man who is JD’s actual opponent
I'm going against the grain here but...
The couch-fucking thing isn't even remotely funny. It was contrived and baseless. I was told to go fuck myself on another substack for pointing this out, but sorry, this Canadian doesn't get it.
Vance is a human pus-wart, but amplifying what is in effect, completely fake news, as much as it makes people feel good, is head-scratchingly dumb. Mebbe I don't get the 4 year American electoral cycle or something, but Vance has demonstrated and been called out for far stupider behavior without this.
Kinda like the popularity of Adam Sandler, another thing I don't get.
Otherwise, an excellently written article Stephen, as always.
I am an American, who was at one time a teenage girl beset by the kind of bullying that included flat out absurd lies about me, who spent a lot of years teaching children about internet safety and the damage they could cause with online bullying, and I don’t like it either.
And now I can get accused of being po-faced and not getting the joke for not liking it, or refusing to bully a bully, so that’s fun. I get the joke, as a librarian I particularly appreciate the fact that the original included a false citation as part of the joke on people who will believe anything with an authority attached in a world where liars have whole industries to pump out crap research. But I still don’t like it and I’m glad it’s hit the common Internet tipping point where the references to it are around the meme itself and not the original joke and how it can be used to bully someone, which is how it was being used last week.
Fuck bullies, is all I have to say. And fuck those who would think they’re bullying in a good cause. It’s still bullying, and bullying is seen by plenty of children who don’t get your irony and instead decide this will be a hilarious way to treat others.
I never underestimate how “obvious lie” humor will convince the idiots to whom the lie isn’t obvious.
This is an excellent reply and touches on why I don't find it at all funny. Humour (even negative like this) always has a core of truth to make it effective. This does not and has the added effect of making him a victim.
You are right, you don't get it and that's okay.
yup, I don't get it, same with Skibidi Toilet.
but if it makes Shillbilly look like a public assclown, even more than he does by himself, it's all good.
Now I think you do get it. After years of republican slander, lies, and vitriol, it's just great to see them get all worked up about this stupid insult no one actually believes.
The couch-fucker thing took off BECAUSE he's a human pus-wart. It has had the knock-on effect of pushing him back off balance, because he (and the Trump campaign) is absolutely incapable of the slightest bit of self-deprecation. He could have killed it's effect in a heartbeat, if he approached it with any sort of humor, like putting on a fake Bill Clinton accent and saying "I Did not have sectional relations with that couch" and laughing at himself.
But neither he or the rest of the MAGAsphere are at ALL capable of that, and that makes them vulnerable to being laughed at.
We can call them a danger to democracy, corrupt, vile and mean all day long and they hold that to themselves like an affirmation "I am a rebel, and outlaw and a tough guy!" They are bullies. and like all bullies are completely fragile when hit in the right spot.
They are human Prince Rupert's Drops. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_Rupert%27s_drop
Calling them dangerous is pounding on the head of the drop with a hammer. Calling them couch-fuckers is breaking off the tiniest bit of the tail. It aims at precisely the weakest part of their psyche.
Thank you for that! I now know about Bavarian drops!
That is a great encapsulation of all this.
Because really this wouldn't have stuck on anyone else. This wouldn't have even stuck on *Mike Pence,* who notably calls his wife "Mother" and has a rule where he can't be alone with a woman. THAT is weird.
And Shady Vance manages to top even that because he's a thoroughly unlikable person. A humorless, poseur scold who I seriously doubt has friends now (and he indeed has reportedly hypocritically turned on friends like a trans friend he had years ago). He threw his own wife under the bus in order to curry favor for the Nazi supporters of his ticket. Seeing him attempt to tell a joke is like watching pigeons peck at a puddle of vomit. NTSB reports where there are no survivors are funnier than this guy.
It's more about ridicule. People know it's false, but it's because Vance is exactly the kind of panty-sniffing busybody that tends to have kinks that are not befitting of their piousness. This might not be as big a thing in Canada and that would explain why it seems strange.
This is a whole thing that happens in the U.S.A. Generally the more of a censorious moral scold someone is, the more likely they have some really strange bedroom habits (as they spend time sniffing in ours). Notable examples include Matt Schlapp and Jerry Falwell Jr., both Christian conservatives with some out-there habits.
Shady Vance invited this ridicule with his out-of-line slandering of wide swaths of the population, and his hypocritical association with a creep (President Klan Robe himself) who exemplifies everything this huckster professed to be against. And that he and his pals join in on the quantification of Kamala Harris' race, well the gloves are off.
And we're all so tired. We get to watch people constantly attack and blood libel Democrats. I think we just collectively hit our limit and don't care anymore. And some of this, I am sure, is payback for what was done to Joe Biden, and again, what is currently being done to Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.
But hey take heart, at least we're not doing something like accusing Joe Biden of sniffing little girls, or saying Kamala Harris is why fentanyl killed relatives and such (or even just saying all immigrants bring fentanyl and so they're responsible for OD deaths).
You said it all the best Seth. Golf 👏🏻!
Thanks, I know this is a thing, like 'weird' (which I fully understand and support, because it's true and stabs those fuckers in the heart), but I really shake my head that this lands... cultural difference, I guess.
Also JD just cantributed an affirmative marketing blurb to Jack Posobiec's (The originator of the Pizzagate slander) new book, in which Posobiec calls liberals 'unpersons' who should be exterminated.
This is straight up Nazi shit. And JD "Couch-fucker" Vance thinks this is a great book.
Yeah really. Frankly the couch thing is light compared to this. THAT is the intellectual company Shady Vance keeps.
Every time I want to entertain the upbraiding by someone who says "oh you ridiculing these rightwing creeps is so immature" I then think of what they did to Ashley Biden.