Halloween Season Subscriber Sale Begins Now!

40% off!

Fall is here, which means that it’s time to decorate my front lawn like a cemetery where an oversized inflatable dragon hangs out. Here’s footage from last year’s scene that I blamed on my son.

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In the spirit of the season, I’m offering 40 percent off annual subscriptions until Halloween. That means you can help feed the dragon for just $48 a year. The more the merrier, especially according to Substack’s algorithms. Throw some of that cancelled-Disney money my way!

My friend Noah Berlatsky over at Everything Is Horrible will post cat photos whenever he receives new paid subscribers during a promotion. I don’t have cats — well, aside from the stuffed black ones that are purely decorative and certainly were never alive at one point. However, I will start posting fun Halloween photos like this one.

This is a “bunny” mask I acquired about 25 years ago when I lived in New York, and by “acquired,” I mean I found it abandoned in the basement laundry room of my apartment on West 101st St. I apparently learned nothing from every horror movie I’d ever seen. However, I’ve never actually worn the mask or felt compelled to do so, and I can confidently state that the mask has never driven me to murder anyone.

The mask was a year-round fixture until I met my wife, and after a very brief discussion, we mutually agreed that it would only come out for Halloween. She also won’t wear the mask.

Thanks for your support, and if you wish to contribute through means other than Substack/Stripe, click the buttons below. If you use the below links, please send me your email so I can make sure you receive any upcoming paid subscriber perks. Sorry, no, the bunny mask is not for sale.

Some spooky reading for you: