We Might Have To Flip Some MAGA Voters But That Doesn't Mean We Need Them In Our Personal Lives
The difference between the political and the personal
Political data analyst Lakshya Jain is very concerned that liberals aren’t maintaining personal relationships with people who hate them. He writes, “It’s becoming way harder for Americans — and especially young Americans, across ideologies — to talk to the other side. That also makes it harder to positively persuade others on liberal values.”
“There is a lot of social science research reinforcing the fact that befriending people of opposite values makes them view you and your own values far less suspiciously,” he posted on social media. “But nobody hates Trump voters more than young liberals do (this is less of a thing with old Democrats).”
To borrow from Young Frankenstein, I think the research Jain cites is “doo doo.” (Watch below.)
Jain’s own research apparently shows that “liberals are more likely to cut people off over politics.” If this is true, it should serve as clear condemnation of people who supported (and continue to support) an openly fascist movement. Instead, it’s presented as further evidence that liberals are intolerant of people who disagree with them. However, MAGA’s so open-minded, they’ll remain your friend while legislating you out of existence. They’re a swell bunch.
There’s also a good deal of “winner’s bias” in this data. We don’t know if John McCain or Mitt Romney voters cut Barack Obama voters out of their lives. There were no deep dives into that subject. I’m not even sure the question was asked. Of course, the Fox News viewers who feared that Obama would send them to death panels or queer re-education camps were totally irrational, but Harris voters had their fears of a second Trump presidency proven sadly correct. How does Jain suggest the people Trump is tormenting maintain a positive relationship with the people who empowered him to do so? This isn’t the 1980s when (mostly) white, middle-class suburbanites could agree to disagree on politics, whose direct impact was rarely felt on their daily lives. “I think apartheid is bad!” says the liberal at the country club. “Well, I enjoy my blood diamonds,” their Republican cousin chuckles.
Thousands of federal workers have lost their jobs without cause. Trans military personnel have been dishonorably discharged. That’s not an agree or disagree situation. “Let’s just not discuss politics and enjoy each other’s company” is less viable when MAGA has taken a wrecking ball to your life. What’s the point of family and friends anyway if they aren’t there for you during the tough times? A former USAID worker needs empathy and support. They don’t need to deal with MAGA dolts who insist that Elon Musk simply got rid of all the “fraud and abuse,” which apparently includes them.
If someone has lost their job or has health issues, they probably would enjoy an evening with loved ones when their ongoing problems aren’t the primary focus, but this distraction should be for their benefit, not to make their MAGA relatives feel less guilty.
Jain and others are also framing this argument without any historical context. It’s well-documented that racists would reject their children who dared marry outside their race (especially a Black person). They even refused to meet their grandkids. Bigots have kicked their own children out of their homes because they were trans. In these cases, they weren’t simply denied holiday get togethers. They were abandoned and left to fend for themselves.
Jain argues that liberals should should keep negative people in their lives for the benefit of democracy. This ignores actual competing data sets that reveal Trump voters fundamentally reject compromise. They don’t want to reach consensus. They want to subdue. That’s the problem with the token liberals on Fox News. Jessica Tarlov represents the misguided liberal daughter who receives rhetorical swirlies from MAGA “brothers” Jesse Watters and Greg Gutfeld.
There’s also an inherent contradiction in how liberals and right-wingers view the world. Liberals who have one “good” MAGA friend extend that benefit of the doubt to others from that group, while right-wingers are more inclined to view their liberal friend or loved one as an “exception.” You can see this in our elected officials. Democrats are continually surprised that their pleasant Republican colleagues who work out next to them at the gym will blatantly lie on Fox News and actively support Trump’s evil agenda. There’s an almost amusing “Lucy with the football” feel whenever Democrats plead with their Republican “friends” to finally do the right thing but are inevitably disappointed … again. But average Americans don’t have this luxury. Such naiveté can prove fatal. If you or your child is a member of a targeted group (especially trans people or immigrants), how much can you really trust a MAGA relative? Politics in the Trump era is no longer academic. This isn’t Family Ties. It’s an unwanted remake of The Diary of Anne Frank.
I actually agree with Jain that liberals need to persuade at least some Trump voters to reconsider fascism as a lifestyle. I just think he’s wrong about where we should expend those efforts. I disagree with liberals who summarily condemn all Trump 2024 voters as irredeemable. From a basic math perspective, that’s not great for Democratic prospects. Besides, if you believe Trump 2024 voters supported him solely for the evil, that’s actually very bad news because pure evil is the only area where Trump is consistently delivering.
However, there is a significant segment of the electorate for whom Trump’s evil wasn’t the selling point. They just ignored the obvious signs — like his Disney villain henchmen JD Vance and Stephen Miller — so they could have cheaper eggs. Their lowball deal with the devil didn’t pan out: The August job numbers were atrocious with the slowest level of growth since December 2020, back during covid’s pre-vaccine period. Unemployment has risen to 4.3 percent.
Now, I appreciate that liberals would prefer that Americans turn on Trump because he’s an aspiring dictator who invades U.S. cities and demonizes our most vulnerable citizens, but if a Republican president tanking the economy is what helps Democrats win the next few elections — you know, just like in 1992 and 2008! — I’ll accept that less than pure victory.
The more than 77 million Trump 2024 voters are a political reality we can’t ignore. That doesn’t mean, though, that you need to have unrepentant Trump voters in your actual life. In this case, the personal is not the political. We only have so much time on this earth. We should surround ourselves with people we can admire and respect who support us unconditionally — not as special “exceptions” whose beliefs, values, and very existence MAGA finds inexplicable or outright wrong. As long as Trump is in power, we struggle to get through each day, so our empathy and patience is best served for canvassing non-ideological low-information swing voters. Our family and friends should remain a respite from the ongoing war, not another battleground.
My experience with Trumper relatives is that what they want is to get their jollies by insulting you and then rip you off. I maintained periodic contact with my late husband's cousin while coordinating his still-living mother's care. The cousin would behave for a while, then make a remark obviously designed to get a rise out of me, which I refused to do, ending the conversation and telling her I would not call her again until she could treat me with respect. Months later, she'd call back full of false friendship and sympathy. Of course, she did nothing. but whine. After my husband's mother died, the cousin called a month later, saying my in-law had promised her $50,000.00. No paperwork and a lie that my husband was aware of this (as she dated the conversation to the height of the COVID lockdown). I told her if I heard from her again, she'd be hearing from my lawyer, and then blocked her phone number. These people are irredeemable.
I disagree with liberals who summarily condemn all Trump 2024 voters as irredeemable.
Oh hi, that would be me!
The more than 77 million Trump 2024 voters are a political reality we can’t ignore
YES WE CAN! We need to get the 90 million eligible voters who sat out 24 to get off their asses and vote. And to do that, we need a vision of the future that people can get excited for. Medicare for all, UBI, guaranteed housing for everybody, free education all the way through, actual gun control, these are things people want, yet I don't hear anybody in Dem leadership talking about them. And to the fucking stupid question "how do we pay for all that" I say TAX THE RICH! They want to go back to the 1950's? We'll give them the 50's tax rates. After all, that is exactly how we got to be such a great country until Reagan came along and started fucking everything up.