Why Are So Many Liberals Acting Like The Lone Gunmen?
The truth is out there but they prefer conspiracies.
Almost immediately after the failed assassination attempt on Donald Trump at the White House Correspondents Dinner, conspiracy theories started to emerge suggesting that the shooting was a “false flag” operation, intended to help Trump politically. (It wasn’t, and it hasn’t.)
Even many Trump voters believe the shooting was staged so he could finagle his big dumb ballroom, but it’s not a surprise that Trump voters believe dumb things. What is surprising are the number of otherwise normal liberals who have jumped on this conspiracy bandwagon.
It turns out that the WHCD shooting suspect reportedly shared social media posts that claimed the 2024 Butler, Pennsylvania, rally attempt on Trump’s life was also staged. He’s not alone in that delusion. A Manhattan Institute Survey revealed that 46 percent of the Democratic coalition believes “the assassination attempt against Donald Trump in July 2024 was orchestrated by his supporters to increase sympathy for him.”
Whenever someone offers an outlandish conspiracy theory, almost always without evidence, I find myself quoting the Robot Devil from Futurama: “Ah, my ridiculously circuitous plan is now one-quarter complete!” (Watch below.)
Look, I can understand the allure of Trump-related conspiracies. No one should trust anything Trump says because he’s a liar who lies. However, Trump is also a coward who would never knowingly put his own life at risk, even for a self-serving purpose. Trump had already tried to steal the election once. He was fully prepared to try again, but he didn’t really have to even consider that contingency. Trump was consistently clobbering Joe Biden in the polls in July 2024. He was ahead in every swing state. Biden was the one who should’ve faked a sympathy-generating assassination attempt. Obviously, Biden would have never entertained this gross idea because he’s not evil or insane. Trump is both, but he’s also incredibly stupid and lacks the self-discipline to keep a surprise party secret, let alone a hoax of that level.
Yet, some liberal conspiracy theorists have an explanation for all this, as well. Someone commented on Noah Berlatsky’s piece about this subject: “Or, the secret service could find out about someone about to do something stupid and let them get *just* far enough to cause a stir. Trump is too fucking stupid to come up with anything that complex, but [Stephen] Miller is probably capable enough, and there’s no shortage of professional grifters and [conmen] in the regime.”
Ah, yes, the Secret Service — working in concert — would let a potential assassination advance just far enough for fun but stop in time before there were permanent consequences. This is apparently the Rhythm Method of assassination attempts.
Like Trump, Stephen Miller is also evil, insane, and stupid. He just has less visible hair. If he did mastermind the WHCD assassination attempt, he probably would have staged it so he didn’t look like a scared weasel hiding behind his pregnant wife and clinging to her breasts like they’re his personal flotation devices in case of an emergency.
It’s disappointing that 46 percent of Democrats believe the Butler Pennsylvania rally was staged. Let’s not forget — as Trump probably has — that an actual human being died at that rally. His family has to live with people suggesting he was a plant, who’s now in witness protection on the moon with Elvis. This nonsense makes liberals sound like Alex Jones ranting about Sandy Hook. It’s a “horseshoe theory” where everyone ends up a horse’s ass.
Life is not an X-Files episode where convoluted conspiracies are actually real, and federal agents waste taxpayer funds investigating alien abductions and invisible elephants. Agent Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) even consulted a trio of conspiracy theory “experts” known as the Lone Gunmen (a reference to conspiracies surrounding John F. Kennedy’s assassination). Agent Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson), my personal hero, correctly pegged these men as unstable cranks. (Watch below.)
“Those were the most paranoid people I have ever met,” Scully later tells Mulder. “I don’t know how you could think that what they say is even remotely plausible … Did you see the way they answered the telephone? They probably think that every call that they get is monitored and they’re followed wherever they go. It’s a form of self-delusion. It makes them think that what they’re doing is important enough that somebody would.”
This speaks to the heart of what motivates most conspiracy theories — the idea that someone is special and clever enough to see through the false reality surrounding them. While that might make them an ideal candidate for release from the Matrix, in the real (?) world, it makes them susceptible to the most wackadoodle theories imaginable.
Scully points out a key irony about the Lone Gunmen — their anti-government posture promotes the myth that the U.S. government is actually competent.
“You give the government too much credit,” Scully patiently says. “The government can’t control a deficit. What makes you think they can plan an elaborate conspiracy?”
Ah, but the Lone Gunmen have an equally complex answer for this: “We’re not talking about a bunch of idiots up on the hill. We’re talking about a government within a government, controlling our every move.”
This “secret” government — much like advanced alien visitors — are somehow content to remain in the shadows, undetectable except for random clues that ultimately lead nowhere. It’s a variation of religious faith, and thus, logic can never counter these outlandish beliefs. The Lone Gunmen insist that a thin magnetic strip hidden within Scully’s $20 bill is a covert method for constant government surveillance. Scully responds that it’s an anti-counterfeiting measure, but her “theory” is too straightforward, too reasonable, for the Lone Gunmen to take seriously.
I admit that as a theatre person, I am somewhat flattered that people think paid actors could successfully stage these “false flag” operations. They are apparently well-rehearsed with significant room for improv. These actors are so committed to the work that they keep quiet about their “fake assassination/fake school shooting/fake moon landing” gigs. They’re delivering Meryl Streep-level performances but are never eligible for any critical acclaim, unless they are secret award shows for “false flag” productions: “I’d like to thank the CIA for believing in me and offering this rare opportunity to defraud the public.”
Years ago, I would have directly compared the Lone Gunman to QAnon conspiracy theorists but now the belief in elaborate conspiracies cross party lines. The consistent ideology here is “trust no one,” not even the facts.