Anne Of The Thousand Days
This week's writing
Last Saturday, I paid a visit to Hever Castle in England, where Anne Boleyn spent her youth after her father, Thomas Boleyn, inherited the Tudor manor in 1505. Anne was the second wife of King Henry VIII, and since he had six, it’s obvious that things didn’t work out that well for her. They’d married in 1532 after Henry rejected his first wife Catherine of Aragon, who’d failed to produce a male heir. Their only surviving child was Princess Mary, who’d later become queen and during her reign would prove almost as bonkers as her father.
Anne was formally crowned queen on June 1, 1533 but her marriage to King Henry was declared null and void on May 17, 1536. She’d also failed to produce a male son who lived. Their only surviving child was Elizabeth, who’d succeed her crazy sister as queen and rule for 44 years. (Although most of Shakespeare’s plays were written after her death, Elizabeth did see performances of Merry Wives of Windsor and Love’s Labor’s Lost.)
As a good Christian man, Henry couldn’t divorce Anne, so instead he had his not-so immortal beloved prosecuted on sham charges of adultery with an assortment of unlucky rack testers, including her own brother, George. Yeah, the whole trial got very Jerry Springer.
Anne was found guilty and condemned to death (along with her brother), but that old softie Henry commuted her sentence from burning to beheading. He also had an expert swordsman brought in from France rather than subject her royal neck to a common axe. Her official separation from the king and her head occurred on May 19, 1536 — thus “Anne Of The Thousand Days.” That was also the title of a play and later film starring Richard Burton and Geneviève Bujold, who was briefly Captain Janeway on Star Trek: Voyager but for only a couple days.
Henry VIII took possession of Hever Castle when Thomas Boleyn died three years after the king executed two of his children. (Anne’s sister Mary was still alive but was probably happy to just keep her head. She might not have been able to inherit anyway for the sexist legal reasons covered in Pride and Prejudice.) Henry would later give the property to his fourth wife, Anne of Cleves, as part of a settlement for their annulment. Anne apparently had no problem living in the family home of her ex-husband’s murdered wife. That’s usually the set-up for a horror movie, but Anne seemed to thrive at Hever and oversaw significant renovations during her time there.
American millionaire William Waldorf Astor acquired and restored Hever in 1903 for use as a family residence. He added the Tudor village on the property, as well as the lovely Italian Garden.
The Hever gift shop has both Anne Boleyn and Anne of Cleves merchandise, which felt a little awkward.
Here are some photos I took from inside the castle where the Annes lived.
Summer has arrived, even if the days are now slowly getting shorter again. I’m celebrating with a special summer subscription sale — 40 percent off the usual annual paid subscriber rate. That’s just $30 a year. Thanks to all who have upgraded to paid subscriber status recently.
This week, I returned to the states and wrote about John Byrne’s extremely dated Reaganite Superman revamp from 1986.
When I was in Edinburgh, I noticed all the references to Harry Potter and J.K. Rowling, which reminds me how she’s torched her reputation by deciding to make hate her most enduring life’s work.
An obnoxious mob chased California state Rep. Scott Wiener out of a trans rights event. People have started behaving like online trolls even without the internet.
Why That Scott Wiener Encounter Shows That Social Media Is In Fact Real Life
California state Sen. Scott Wiener, who’s running to replace Nancy Pelosi in Congress, was chased out of San Francisco’s annual Trans March last Friday. Wiener, who’s gay, has a solid record of supporting trans rights — although even if he didn’t and had just taken a wrong turn through Dolores Park, that wouldn’t justify strangers verbally abusing him i…
The Fourth of July is Saturday, so tomorrow you can read my annual “Is This Really Independence Day?” piece.
See you after the fireworks.
Ah, I see you were somewhat in my neck o' the woods when you were here! Gorgeous photos!
The only disagreement I have is that Henry VIII "couldn't" divorce Anne Boleyn—he 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 have, since he'd made divorce okey-dokey to boot Catherine of Aragon by telling the Catholic Church to take a hike and becoming the head of his newly-made up Church of England. He just didn't 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 to divorce Anne, because he wanted her completely removed from the royal house (and thus removing Elizabeth as a legitimate heir to the throne) since he was already sniffin' around Jane Seymour. (There may have also been someone in his group who said, "You know, divorcing two women in such quick succession might not have the optics you're looking for, why not just say she was fucking random guys in the court—let's throw her brother in, too!—and make YOU the victim here?") So he and his evil inner circle made up some bogus shit to make the whole marriage invalid and, for good measure, added stuff that constituted as treason so he could simply have her legally offed and wash his hands of her entirely, never having to deal with her again. Seems there was something in there, too, about her father being able to keep his title and standing by going against Anne (and his son) and siding with the mad king but that's only a vague memory of my reading.
Yeah, I learned all this when I was studying for my residency test. This wasn't exactly part of the required studies but I tended to follow paths here and there for the interesting stuff.
Anne of Cleves reportedly got along very well with Henry's children, including Anne of the Thousand Days' daughter, Elizabeth, so maybe her owning and living at Hever Castle wasn't so awkward. Being married to Henry WAS the horror, Stephen, so somehow it seems fitting that another Anne thrived at the first one's childhood home after surviving being married to the monster.
Though ornate, Hever Castle is decorated very tastefully. It's a home fit for a future queen and for a former queen.