Avoid A Valentine's Day Massacre With This Week's Writing
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Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, but my wife and I celebrated last week to beat the crowds. Every February 14, I make a point to watch The Prisoner episode, “The Girl Who Was Death.” The sinister assassin Sonia (Justine Lord) loves our hero (Patrick McGoohan) so much she wants to make him a “beautiful corpse.” That’s probably not healthy. When Sonia poisons him at a pub, he takes extreme measures that I’ve wisely never tried to repeat, even on a dare. (Watch below.)
February 13, 1998 was the release date for the Adam Sandler/Drew Barrymore romantic comedy The Wedding Singer. I have no memory of seeing this film, even though it was part of the “Awesome ‘80s Weekend” on TNT in the early 2000s. Although set in 1985, Drew Barrymore’s clothes and hair don’t really say “eighties” so much as “I’m too big a star to look foolish.” Of course, it’s an open question whether 1990s style and fashion actually aged any better than the 1980s’. (Sandler and Barrymore would reunite in 2004’s 50 First Dates, which also came out on February 13. The “no memory of this movie” joke probably would’ve worked better here.)
The big Valentine’s Day weekend release of 1999 was Message in a Bottle, an Oppenheimer-style weapon on mass tear production. For weeks afterward, women in my office would gather in the break room to discuss the movie and openly weep. Then they’d go see it again. I have a strong memory of not seeing this film.
On Valentine’s Day 2003, I was single and nerdy enough to see Daredevil starring Ben Affleck. I am a big fan of the Daredevil comics, especially the Frank Miller and Ann Nocenti/John Romita Jr. runs, so I really should’ve saved my money. Affleck’s future wife Jennifer Garner starred in the hit series Alias at the time, and that’s probably why she was cast as Daredevil’s lost love Elektra Natchios, who in the comics is Greek and interesting.
I voluntarily saw Music and Lyrics starring Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore, who is apparently the leading lady of this holiday. That came out on February 14, 2007, a few months before I met my wife. Somewhere else in New York City, she was possibly seeing this movie, as well, but probably under less pathetic circumstances.
My wife and I did see the Valentine’s Day offerings Definitely, Maybe with Ryan Reynolds and lsla Fisher in 2008 and the very literal Valentine’s Day in 2010. That one was stuffed with Love Actually-style overlapping storylines I’ve mostly forgotten. The final film in the Die Hard series, A Good Day To Die Hard, came out on Valentine’s Day 2013. We obviously didn’t see this, but I just wanted to remind everyone that title exists.
February 14 is the birthdate of hardboiled detective Harry Angel from 1987’s Angel Heart. That was also regular holiday viewing when I was single, but marriage has made me a little more upbeat. Unlike the doomed Angel, I have profited from wisdom. So, even though it didn’t come out on Valentine’s Day, we might watch The Thomas Crown Affair starring Renee Russo and Pierce Brosnan at his coolest. (Aside from all the priceless art theft, Crown is an excellent role model for our son.) I recall seeing this in summer of 1999, and the New York City audience all applauded at the climax when Thomas Crown “returns” the stolen Monet. (Watch below but not before seeing the film if you haven’t already.)
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This week, I wrote about land acknowledgements and managed to quote Thomas Crown himself: “Regret is a waste of time. So is gloating.”
I delved into Donald Trump’s bottomless pit of racism.
MAGA crashed out over Bad Bunny’s performance at the Super Bowl. White Santa Claus purist Megyn Kelly in particular went full klan. Never go full klan.
MAGA has long been the New Confederacy in all but name. Now Trump is invading Democratic-run states and cities and his Department of Injustice has tried to indict sitting Democratic Congress members. We’re not headed in a good direction.
I had another fun conversation with my friend Lynne Childress. While you’re over at YouTube, don’t forget to subscribe to my channel.
That’s it for this week. See you on Monday.
I don’t think that I have ever seen any of these movies much less for V Day. I got my husband some cards for the day as usual. My uncle Carl (an elderly gentleman friend I have made) keeps asking if my husband will be taking me to dinner and getting me flowers. I had to demur and say not sure but we do not usually go out for dinner period so..
We will go to our house and think of something to make and share with our friends as usual unless they decide to do something romantical.
Either way, for us, it’s the everyday that matters and not one in particular and that works just for us.
"Grand Hotel," starring two of Drew Barrymore's ancestors, is a good movie to watch on Valentine's Day. It was released in 1932, and was the first all-star movie, which was a gamble that paid off for MGM. There are different endings, and there are different stories - one is sad, one is happy, and one is fitting (a bad character gets what he deserves).